


i know i'll give the world and more

by lukeyandlou



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Hanscom & Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Marijuana, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, richie and eddie bond over their pining for eddie and bev, richie tozier is a crybaby, the summer between high school and college
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:20:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25136785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lukeyandlou/pseuds/lukeyandlou
Summary: He could die like that, staring at the pink on her cheeks. She made him feel like home.He wanted to know if Richie felt the same about Eddie. If he felt that way when he looked at him too. He had to know.He had to know he wasn’t crazy. Had to know he wasn’t alone.orBen and Richie bond over the fact that they are undeniably in love with Eddie and Bev and make a plan to tell them.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom & Richie Tozier, Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 3
Kudos: 66





	i know i'll give the world and more

**Author's Note:**

> so everytime i'm drunk i go off about the POTENTIAL of richie and ben's friendship and how they pine together so i had to write this. this is dedicated to cloud, fellow platonic benchie warrior who received my drunk dms <3

It has been the hottest Saturday of the summer so far. 

That’s not saying much, considering that Maine’s side of the coast didn’t see the worst of the sun and it was just the tip of July, but the sun was resting in comfort in the corner of the sky and there was a drop of sweat lingering under his bangs. 

Ben couldn’t remember the last time he had been to the beach. It might have been four summers ago, when his mother had burst into his room one morning in August with a desire to sit by the waves, and he had only gone so far to let the tip of the ocean brush his toes. It wasn’t a very deep memory, not very important in the grand scheme of things, but it had been nice. A little more than nice, maybe. Serene. 

This beach trip could not exactly be described as serenity. 

He had been in the clubhouse last week playing cards with Mike and Stan, Bev and Eddie paying no mind to them as they listened to Taylor Swift on Bev’s new small stereo. Just before he could win the game, Richie and Bill had come storming in, swearing that they had come up with an idea on the way here that was going to bring their summer’s peak. 

“No,  _ no,  _ I swear that this is gonna be  _ good, _ ” Richie had said, “Even better than grocery cart racing!” 

“You almost knocked your teeth out last time,” Eddie had replied, “You just got your braces off and for what? Now you’re going to need dentures instead.”

“I d-don’t think he’ll l-lose any te-teeth,” Bill had added, “But he m-might get sunburned.” 

That was how they ended up going on a beach trip, just the seven of them in Bill’s mom’s van and Bev’s little stereo. 

Ben rested on his towel with the snack basket in his lap, popping a strawberry into his mouth. Mike was on snack duty and decided to pack some fruit, much to Richie’s dismay. 

“Aw, c’mon Mikey!” he had pouted, “How do you expect me to go to the beach without eating a family sized Doritos bag, huh? Please don’t tell me you’re on a health kick now.” 

“Fruit is nature’s candy,” Mike had told him, “Doritos are overrated.”

Ben agreed with Mike, especially as he chewed the final berry, sweeter than any strawberry he’s had in recent history. 

It was quiet on this side of the sand, Stan laying on the towel to his right reading a new book from the library while Bev and Mike bounced a beach ball back and forth to his left. Stan and Eddie had volunteered with Ben at the library during the school year for their graduation project, and now they got together to read every Monday afternoon. 

“That’s so nerdy that I’m going to throw up in my mouth,” Richie had teased, “You’ve truly outdone yourselves. Truly.” 

“You took AP U.S. History,” Stan rolled his eyes, “You can’t call anything nerdy.” 

Richie always did have a whole lot to say, and that's why he wasn’t very liked in his classes. Ben thought it could be jealousy too, because their peers study all day and night only to score lower than the loudmouth who didn’t have to study at all. Richie didn’t think of this, though, and he knew that he could be too much. But he didn’t seem to mind. He had all the friends he needed anyways. 

Ben had always admired how much Richie had to say. It had taken some getting used to when they first met, when he barely knew Richie but would receive invasive questions asking what’s on his search history, but he had learned to be comforted by Richie’s voice. His chaotic nature made Ben feel like home. Made all of them feel like that, really. 

Because even with Ben and Stan laying on the towels, Bev and Mike playing with the ball and Bill jumping in the waves all on his own because he was too impatient to wait for a companion, there would be absolutely no peace, in the demented form of peace that Ben liked, without Richie and Eddie yelling back and forth as they ran on the sand. 

“Richie, would you stand still for one fucking second?” Eddie frowned, the 100 SPF sunscreen he had packed in his grasp. 

“Never! I do not fear the sun!” Richie turned his face back, and the tip of his nose was already getting red. 

“Look at that. Look at that! You’re already getting burnt! You’re going to get fucking skin cancer if you don’t let me put this on!” Eddie shouted. 

“Gonna have to catch me first, Eds,” Richie winked back at him. “C’mon! Put those track and field legs to use!” 

“You’re so disgusting,” Eddie said, but Ben saw the smile on his face that would grow everytime Richie turned away. 

This was Richie and Eddie’s nature, and the background noise of their bickering brought a sense of security to their little makeshift family. None of them ever questioned anything about it. This was just how they behaved, always have and always will. 

But Ben had always been observant, and he began to believe that there might be something to question. Richie radiated exuberance, and he enjoyed getting under the skin of everyone he knew, but it was different with Eddie. With Eddie, he actually tried. And when Eddie would let a laugh slip out, there was a shine in Richie’s eyes that Ben was all too familiar with. 

He didn’t want to make any assumptions, and he didn’t know for sure, but he thought he saw Richie look at Eddie the way he looks at Bev. 

And now, as Richie ran full speed down the beach with Eddie running at his ankles, Eddie had an expression of happiness that he only wore when he was doing something like chasing Richie. 

“Stan!” Eddie halted, “Will you tell Richie to come here?” 

“Absolutely not,” Stan said, “I’m staying out of this. It’s his fault if he burns to a crisp.” 

Richie ran back, leaping onto Bev’s towel. “Poor Bill looks pretty lonely out there, doesn’t he? Bev, let me use your boogie board, would ya?” 

“You don’t know how to use it,” Eddie crossed his arms. “You’re going to try to jump into a wave, hit your head on it, and drown.” 

“I’ll figure it out,” Richie said, “And in that deeply unlikely scenario, you’d give me mouth to mouth, wouldn’t you dear?” 

“No,” Eddie said, “Now,  _ please _ , let me put this sunscreen on you? And then you can hit your head on her boogie board all you want.” 

“Fine, fine,” Richie crawled to Eddie. “But only if you come with me.” 

“That water is disgusting,” Eddie said, his voice calmer as he knelt down to spray Richie’s shoulders, “People and fish alike piss in there all day. It’s freezing too.”

“You wouldn’t leave Billy boy out there all alone, would you Eds? Who’s going to accompany him when I hit my head and drown?” 

Eddie only laughed this time, rubbing the lotion down Richie’s back, and Ben could see that glow in Richie’s eyes. 

Ben was very observant. Richie had a lot to say. Ben knew now, in complete understanding, that Richie had feelings for Eddie. 

As soon as Eddie was done spraying Richie with the lotion, Richie shot up with that famous crooked smirk on his face and threw Eddie over his shoulder like it was nothing, charging towards the water. 

“Put me down!” Eddie screamed, but Ben noticed he was trying to hide a smile. 

“To the depths we go!” Richie shouted, his foot kicking sand backwards all over Stan and his book. 

“God fucking damnit,” Stan groaned, pushing his book to the side and joining the trek to the ocean. “You’re gonna drown for that!” 

“Seems fun,” Mike said to Bev, “You two wanna join?” 

“I’m okay for now,” Bev said, “Ben?”

“I’m good here,” Ben said, his voice cracking a little from being silent for too long. 

“Go on ahead, MIke,” Bev said, “I’ll sit with Ben here for a little while.” 

“Alrighty,” Mike smiled, running off towards the water. Ben started to blush as Bev walked closer to his towel, tapping his fingertips against the sand. 

“How you doing over here?” she asked, sitting criss crossed on the other side of the towel. 

“Just finishing up the strawberries,” Ben told her. 

“Didn’t save any for me?” Bev pouted her lip. 

Ben thought about the difference between him and Richie. Richie liked to get in Eddie’s face. Eddie made him loud. Bev made Ben feel peaceful and calm, and sometimes, he was so caught up in looking at the freckles sprinkled on her face that he forgot to speak.

“I’m just kidding, you know,” she said, and Ben realized he had been quiet for a second too long. 

“Oh, yeah, I know,” Ben turned to her, and she laughed. Her scarlet curls were bouncing over her face, glistening in the sun. She was so unbelievably beautiful, like galaxies were swimming in her eyes, her smile carrying the whole world and more. He could die like that, staring at the pink on her cheeks. She made him feel like home. 

He wanted to know if Richie felt the same about Eddie. If he felt that way when he looked at him too. He had to know. 

He had to know he wasn’t crazy. Had to know he wasn’t alone. 

“I brought some sand toys too,” Ben told her, his voice wavering a little at first. He hoped she didn’t notice. “Want to try to build a castle, or something like that?” 

“Sure,” she smiled, “We’ll make a rather majestic kingdom, only for Richie to kick the poor thing over when he comes running back here.” 

Ben laughed, reaching for the bag of toys. “We’ll have to take a picture of it before that happens. I take my castle making very seriously.” 

“As do I,” Bev said, “We’ll make quite a masterpiece together, won’t we?” 

“We will,” Ben said, a dazed look in his eye as her pinkie finger rests over his own. 

By the end of the beach day, Ben and Bev had accomplished taking a picture of their sand fortress before Richie knocked it over, and they were convinced to go in the water as well. Sun had just set, and they were making their way back to the van. Bill made sure everyone rinsed real good under the hose by the restroom before they got in, because his mom would kill him if he came back with a van full of wet sand. 

The drive home contained a comfortable silence, and Ben let his eyes chase the passing buildings on the side of the street from his window seat. There were two reasons it was quiet, which were the fact that no one wanted to, or knew how for that matter, to sing along to Bill’s obscure music, and the fact that Richie had fallen asleep. Eddie had fallen asleep too, his head leaned on Richie’s shoulder. Ben knew it wasn’t polite to stare, but he had plenty of observations to make. He decided that Richie and Eddie seemed in their perfect form like this, like they were meant to fit with each other this way. They were meant to be RichieandEddie. He wondered if he would look the same way, if Bev was asleep with her head on his shoulder.

The van’s destination was Richie’s house, because everyone had met there and Ben had left some things behind. He  _ needed  _ to talk to Richie alone, but he didn’t know how to do that. Of course, Richie was one of his best friends, all of the Losers were, but they hadn’t done much hanging out, just the two of them. He knew Richie and Bev hung out on their own a lot, and they had gotten involved in smoking together. 

That gave Ben an idea. 

The van got to Richie’s house, Ben woke Richie and Eddie up gently and they all got out to their own cars or bikes, giving hugs and goodbyes. It had been a long day and they were all very tired, so the goodbyes were brief. Ben’s bike was parked and ready to go, but he went up to Richie instead. 

“Hey, Richie,” he said, “I left some stuff in your room.” 

“Alright,” Richie said, “You can follow me in.” 

Ben nodded, thinking his plan over. It  _ was  _ something he always wanted to do after all. It wasn’t just a drastic measure he was taking to talk to Richie alone. 

“Here you go, Benny,” Richie said, opening the door to his room and gesturing to Ben’s bag. 

“Oh! And, also…” Ben said, walking in and sitting on the bed, “I was wondering something else too.” 

Richie’s eyes widened a little, closing the door. “Yeah? What’s up?” 

“You smoke weed, don’t you?” Ben asked. 

Richie’s eyes widened further, and then he laughed. “You a narc or something? Here for an intervention?” 

“No, no,” Ben laughed lightly, “Actually, I was wondering if I could try some.” 

“What?!” Richie jumped on the bed beside Ben, nearly knocking him over. “Am I hearing this right? Ben Hanscom wants to get stoned?” 

“If you’re cool with it,” Ben replied. 

“Jesus fuck,” Richie stood back off the bed and stumbled towards his drawer, “Just wait until Bev hears about this!” 

“Actually, I would appreciate it if this stays between us,” Ben crossed his legs. He was already feeling vulnerable and they weren’t even talking about feelings yet. “I know she smokes too, but I wanted to ask you.” 

“Well, I’m honored,” Richie put a hand over his heart, “It would be my greatest pleasure to get you high.” 

Ben felt a little nervous, but not as nervous as he thought he would be. He wasn’t afraid to smoke, or get high, but he was afraid to talk. But he had to do it. That he was sure of. 

Richie brought back a lighter and a joint, jumping on the bed and patting Ben’s knee with his free hand. 

“You sure you wanna do this? Like absolutely positively without a doubt sure?” Richie asked. 

“Absolutely positively without a doubt sure,” Ben said. 

“Okay,” Richie smiled, lighting it. “I’m gonna go first. When it’s your turn, just suck and inhale, hold it for a second before breathing out, but only for a second because you’re new and if you hold it too long you’ll cough so hard you puke.” 

“Got it,” Ben nodded. 

Richie hit it, and then he passed it to Ben. 

It felt easy at first, the smoke crawling into his lungs, and he felt tranquil as it flowed out of his mouth. 

Then, the coughing began. 

Richie patted Ben’s back in sympathy, trying to contain a laugh. “Hey! I told you not too long!” 

“I know, I know!” Ben managed to get out, and then he was laughing too. 

It felt natural, sitting on Richie’s bed with a joint between his fingers as they laughed so hard their ribs hurt. There was a connection between him and Richie, and he hoped he felt it too. He hoped he felt as safe as he did. 

Some time had passed, passing it back and forth, and when he decided they were good Richie put it away. Now, they were both lying on opposite sides of the bed, parallel to each other and sitting up enough that Ben could look Richie in the eye. Richie had turned on his speaker, and Ben thought this is a song by The Neighbourhood, but he’s too shy to ask. He’s never seen Richie so calm, his eyes closed as he tapped his knee. Ben almost felt bad disturbing him, until, to his relief, Richie opened his eyes and spoke first. 

“So, what made you want to do this?” Richie asked, “You just came home from the beach and thought hey, it’d be pretty cool to get fucking fried with Richie Tozier, or what?” 

Ben wanted to laugh, because maybe Richie would appreciate that sense of comfort to go with what he was going to say next, but it didn’t feel right. “Have you ever had feelings for someone?” 

Richie’s smile dropped, panic swarming in his eyes, and he straightened his back against the bedrest. Ben wanted to reach over and grab his leg, tell him that it’s okay, and he didn’t need to be afraid. But he had to let him speak first. 

“I don’t know,” Richie replied. 

Ben sighed, and he knew that this would be scary for him. He had to let him in first. 

“I know you’re Bev’s best friend-

“Wait, wait a minute, you think I’m in love with Bev?” Richie snickered. 

“No, no, I know you’re not,” Ben said, “Let me finish, man.” 

“Sorry,” Richie said quietly, the unsettled look back into his eyes. 

“I was going to say that I know you’re Bev’s best friend, but I need you to promise not to tell her this, okay?” Ben said. 

“Pinky promise,” Richie said. 

“Okay,” Ben said, “Well, when I look at Bev, I see everything that’s right in the world. I can’t think of any of my fears, or my flaws, or my losses. I can’t think of anything bad because when I look into her eyes or hear her voice and laugh or touch her hair I can only think of happiness. I can only think of safety. All of my deepest dreams have her in them, dancing or laughing or both at once, and thinking of holding her hand gives me nothing short of pure bliss. I think I’m in love with her.” 

Richie is silent for a second, and then looks back at him. “I don’t know if it’s because you’re high or if you’re just walking poetry, but that was pretty deep.” 

Ben chuckled and slapped Richie’s leg. “Really? That’s what you have to say?” 

Richie laughs, “Sorry, sorry. Well, how about you ask her out? She’s single, you know that.” 

“It’s not that easy,” Ben sighed, “I don’t think she would like me that way. We’ve known each other so long and she never showed any signs of feeling like that towards me. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, because it would hurt way too much to not have her at all.” 

“Bev is complicated. She isn’t very in your face about her emotions, you know? And she’d never kick you to the curb or anything like that, even if she didn’t like you back. She isn’t like that,” Richie said. 

“Also, she dated Bill,” Ben said, “Wouldn’t that be breaking the bro code?” 

“Oh, please,” Richie laughed, “They broke up in the fucking ninth grade. He had a whole relationship since that, and ever since him and Audra broke up I’m pretty sure he’s been all over Mike. He’s not going to give a single fuck if you date Bev.” 

“Maybe so,” Ben said, “Do you think I’d have a chance?” 

“Yeah, of course,” Richie smiled, but he was losing his spunk. Something was on his mind, and Ben knew exactly what. “She’s very fond of you. I’m sure she’d love a date.” 

“There’s a reason I came to you about this, and it’s not that you’re Bev’s best friend,” Ben said. 

“What is it?” Richie asked. He’s usually good at hiding nerves, or any negative emotion, but in that moment Ben can see right through him. In that moment, Richie knew where Ben was going, and he looked nothing short of terrified. 

“Richie?” Ben asked, to make sure he was still with him. 

Richie just nodded. 

“I came to you because I think you understand. I can see a lot of things that other people can’t, you know, and I think you know what this feels like. Am I right?” 

Richie stares at Ben a second and then his eyes drift to the wall. 

“Richie,” Ben continued, “I want you to know that no matter who it is, it’s safe for you to tell me. You’re safe with me, always. I would never ever judge you or see you differently.” 

Richie moved his hands to his face, pushing his fingers under his glasses to hide himself, and his body began to shudder. 

Ben sat up and crawled closer to Richie, setting his glasses on the nightstand and pulling his hands off his face, holding them tightly. 

“It’s okay, Richie,” Ben reassured, “It’s okay. You’re safe.” 

“I’m sorry,” Richie cried, “I didn’t mean for anyone to know, I didn’t mean for you to know.” 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Ben said, “There’s nothing wrong with you, okay? It’s okay.” 

Richie leaned into Ben, resting into his chest. It was quite a sight, considering Richie was awfully lengthy and barely fit on the bed as it is, but Ben didn’t care. He just wanted to comfort his friend. 

“I know it’s wrong, I know I’m not supposed to love him like that,” Richie said, “But God, Ben, I love him so much that if I look at him a little too long I could start crying just because of how much I love him. I love him, I love him so much. I can’t stop.” 

“You don’t have to stop, it’s okay,” Ben rubbed his back, “It’s not wrong.” 

“But if you figured it out, what if he does too? He’ll never talk to me again,” Richie said. 

“That’s not true. Remember what you said to me about Bev? How she wouldn’t do something like that? Neither would Eddie. He would never want to be without you. It’s unfair to him to think otherwise,” Ben told him. 

“Maybe,” Richie replied. 

“But hey, look at me,” Ben said, and Richie lifted up to see him. “You’re not the only one I’ve been observing. I’ve been looking at him too.” 

“Really?” Richie asked. 

“Really. I see the way he looks at you Richie, how he smiles when you’re not looking anymore. He seems just as into you as you seem into him, trust me,” Ben said. 

“I don’t know about that,” Richie said, “Even if he likes boys, why would he like someone like me?” 

“Because you’re Richie, and he’s Eddie,” Ben said, “You guys are meant to fit together in every way, and anyone could see that. You’re meant to be with him, and he’s meant to be with you.” 

“But how can I know?” Richie asked, “If I just go tell him, that could end in him freaking out and ditching me if he doesn’t feel the same, and I can’t risk that.” 

“I have an idea,” Ben said, “You’re Bev’s best friend, and I spend time with Eddie every week at the library. Maybe I could try to see if he could like you, and you could try to see if Bev likes me. If I’m right, Eddie would like you back. But I can find out. And then we can both tell them how we feel. If you do it, I’ll do it too.” 

Richie nodded, wiping his tear stains away and putting his glasses back on. “You think you could find out?” 

“Yeah, I can. And you could too?” Ben replied. 

“Oh yeah, totally. Of course,” Richie said. 

“Then it’s a deal?” Ben asked. 

“Only if you find solid evidence that he likes me. Solid and I mean  _ solid _ , okay?” Richie said. 

“Okay, Richie,” Ben laughed. 

“It’s getting kind of late,” Richie said, “You want to sleepover?” 

“Sure, I’ll text my mom,” Ben said. 

“Cool. We  _ have  _ to watch Hot Rod.” 

The next time after that Richie had plans with Bev, he kept Ben at the front of his mind. He felt a little bad, keeping this from Bev, but he couldn’t betray Ben. And Ben was figuring out things for him too. That was scary, but it could, just maybe, lead to happiness. And this could end in happiness for Bev too.

He was sitting with his back to Bev as she braided the waves of his hair, just for fun, humming along to the Lorde song on her radio (she had been really into Lorde lately) as Richie picked at his nail polish, thinking of what to say. 

“You’re being awfully quiet,” Bev said, “Everything okay?” 

“Oh, me? Yeah, yeah, totally okay,” Richie answered, trying to think quickly, “I just got busy thinking of stuff is all.” 

“And what kind of stuff would that be?” she asked. 

“Maybe, um, what it’s like to kiss someone,” he said, “You’ve kissed Bill, right?” 

“Oh god, don’t remind me,” she laughed, “That’s so weird. He’s like my brother now.” 

“Was he a good kisser at least?” Richie asked. 

“Not as good as Kay McCall,” she said. 

Richie turned, his eyes widening. “You kissed Kay McCall?” 

“Yeah!” Bev said, “At a sleepover senior year, before she got with Audra. It didn’t really mean anything though. Just for fun.” 

Richie nodded, turning back around so she could continue with the braiding. 

“I’ve never kissed anyone,” he told her. 

“I know, Richie,” she said, “Why not? I’m sure there’s someone who would.” 

“I just don’t want it to mean nothing, I guess,” he said, “No offense to you and Kay.” 

“None taken,” she laughed, “But good for you. I just don’t think I’m meant for that. Something that means something.” 

“What?” Richie asked. 

“I don’t know, it’s just,” Bev sighed, “I don’t think that there’s anyone who would look at me and want that. If they look at my face? Yeah, maybe. But not if they look at my soul.” 

“That’s not true,” Richie frowned, “You’re the coolest girl in the whole wide world, you know. Any old sap would fall in love with you. All of you.” 

“Hmm,” she said, “I am lonely, though. Maybe I should make a Tinder profile. Am I cute enough for swipes?” 

“Bevvie, I don’t think you’re cut out for the Tinder life. Now, this is not in an offensive way, no way no sir. You’re just too good for the pieces of shit on there looking for a cheap fuck. You need someone who sees your worth,” Richie told her. 

“I don’t think anyone ever would,” she sighed. 

“But what if someone did? What if someone who truly knew you came up to you and confessed their undying love?” he asked. 

“There’s only six people who truly know me, and that’s you guys,” she giggled, “I don’t see any of you confessing your undying love for me anytime soon.” 

Richie paused. “What if someone in the group did though?” 

Bev raised an eyebrow. “Why? Do you know something you’re not telling me?” 

“What? No! Of course not!” Richie laughed a little too loudly, “I’m just saying hypothetically. What would you do?” 

“Depends on who it was, I guess,” she said, her cheeks flushing a little blush. “Ben’s cute. I’ll kill you if you tell anybody, but it’d be cute if it was him. But it wouldn’t be, he doesn’t like me that way. So don’t push anything, mister.” 

A smirk grew on Richie’s face, glad that Bev was too occupied on his hair to see his smug look. “Alright Bev. Just wait a little before starting the Tinder life, okay? Like, when the summer is over and we start at the college. Just trust me and wait a little.” 

“Whatever you say,” Bev answered, “The braid is complete!” 

Richie jumped up and walked to the mirror, turning and seeing the back of his hair tied in a little braid. His mom was really getting on his back to get it trimmed and he was seriously considering it, but that idea was out the window now. 

“Miss Marsh works her wonders once again.” 

On Monday afternoon, Ben walked through the library doors just after two p.m. to meet Eddie. Stan was visiting a relative today and couldn’t make it, and as much as Ben loved Stan’s company he was eternally grateful for that. It meant he could talk to Eddie alone. 

He walked to the third table to the right of the computers where they always sat, Eddie already there with a new book on motorcycles.

“Hey Eddie,” Ben said, pulling a chair and pulling one of his own books out of his bag. 

“Hey,” Eddie greeted. “Sucks that Stan can’t be here. He was supposed to get me chinese food next time he sees me. Don’t even ask why.” 

“Okay,” Ben laughed, glancing at Eddie’s book. “You into motorcycles now?” 

“They’re death traps,” Eddie winced, “Literally death just waiting to happen. But the mechanics behind them are pretty cool.” 

“I think it’d be fun to ride one,” Ben said. 

“Don’t tell Richie,” Eddie shook his head, “He’ll try to ride one like it was riding a bicycle. I just know he would.” 

“He would,” Ben agreed, and then they went back to silence as Ben pulled out his book. 

Ben had the book open, a thriller novel he had been dying to read, but there was no way he could focus on it with Eddie sitting in front of him. Eddie seemed very focused on his book, so Ben figured he wouldn’t notice if he was staring just above the top of his book. He gazed at him, remembering the way he gazed at Richie last weekend. It was weird to put one without the other. 

“Are you alright Ben?” Eddie asked. 

“Yeah, I’m alright,” he answered, “Why?” 

“You’re staring at me,” Eddie replied. 

Ben sighed. “Sorry. I was just wondering something about you.” 

“Is it about the Chinese food?” Eddie asked. 

“No, no,” Ben laughed, “I was just wondering if you’ve ever had feelings for anyone.” 

Eddie’s grip on his book tightens and his eyes widen, the same exact expression Richie wore when he had asked him. 

There’s no way to put one without the other. 

“W-What brought that on? Why do you ask?” Eddie finally responded. 

“I don’t know. I just want you to be happy. I really do,” Ben said. 

Eddie exhaled, setting his book down and crossing his arms over the table, giving Ben his full attention. “Thanks for that, Ben. I appreciate it. But you don’t have to worry about me.” 

“You don’t have feelings for anyone?” Ben asked. 

He knew Eddie wanted to lie. He knew the lie was resting on the tip of his tongue, ready to spill. But, maybe because of the guilt of lying to a friend or maybe because Ben had a softness in his eyes that gave someone the confidence to confide in him, he didn’t.

“Sometimes, you have feelings for someone who can’t love you back,” Eddie said, “So you have to find happiness in being their friend.” 

“How do you know they can’t love you back?” Ben asked. 

“You just do,” Eddie replied. 

“You never know,” Ben said, “You won't know unless you ask. Especially if they’re your friend.” 

“That isn’t safe sometimes, Ben,” Eddie picked his book back up, “It’s okay. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” 

Ben sighed. It was hard to keep his mouth shut, but he knew he had to. But there was nothing to worry about - his suspicions were confirmed. “You’ll find happiness, Eddie. I promise you will. You just have to let yourself, okay?” 

“Thanks Ben,” Eddie answered, and the turbulence in the tone of his brief response told that Eddie didn’t want to talk about this anymore. So, to distract him, he asked, “So, we got time. Tell me why Stan owes you Chinese food.” 

Later in the week, Ben rides his bike to Richie’s house. They’re going to have a sleepover again, and Ben was more than excited to share his findings. 

“Benny boy my dearest!” Richie ran out the front door and hugged him tightly, “I’m so glad you made it.” 

“I brought Doritos,” Ben said, “Since Mike didn’t bring them last time.” 

“My knight in shining armor,” Richie threw an arm around his shoulders and walked him in.

“Hello, Ben dear!” Richie’s mom greeted, walking through the hall with a basket of laundry. 

“Hi Mrs. Tozier,” Ben said, “How are you?” 

“Wonderful, and you?” she replied. 

“I’m pretty good,” he smiled. 

“Richie, you didn’t tell me your friends were coming over tonight. I don’t have enough dinner for all six of them,” she said. 

“The others aren’t coming tonight. Just Ben here. There’s enough dinner for him, right?” Richie answered. 

“Just Ben?” his mother answered, “Oh, okay. Yes, that’s fine.” 

“Thanks Mom,” Richie said, kissing her cheek and then grabbing Ben’s arm and leading him to the room. 

“So,” Ben said as he closed the door, “I have news.” 

“I have news as well,” Richie said, “You spill first.” 

“Okay,” Ben said, “Eddie has feelings but thinks it is unsafe to confess.” 

“Are you serious?” Richie sunk onto the floor, pushing his fingers through his hair. “Like, dead ass serious?” 

“Dead ass serious,” Ben replied, “I told you, Richie.” 

“Oh my god,” Richie said, “Wait, hold on. This is a lot to take in. You’re sure he was talking about me?” 

“Positive,” Ben said. 

“For you, too,” Richie answered. “She even name dropped you. She said that if anyone in the group had feelings for her, she’d want it to be you.” 

“Me?” Ben asked, a big smile growing on his face. 

“You,” Richie jumped up, placing his hands on Ben’s shoulders. “Holy fuck.” 

“What would we have done without each other? We would’ve been pining in sadness for decades,” Ben laughed. 

“So, now what?” Richie asked. 

“Now, I guess, is the part where we tell them,” Ben said, “I know it sounds scary, but we know now that they won’t hate us. It’ll be the best thing we ever did.

“Like, right now? We just go to their houses and tell them?” Richie asked. 

“No, not right now,” Ben laughed, putting his hands on Richie’s shoulders in return. “We have to make something for them.” 

“Like a gift?” Richie asked. 

“Something like that,” Ben answered, “We make them something and pick a day to give it to them.” 

“Bev would like that,” Richie answered, “Maybe we could get them stuffed animals? I’d like a stuffed animal if Eddie was asking me out.”

“I’m down,” Ben answered, “After dinner.” 

“Right,” Richie nodded, “After dinner.” 

After eating some of Mrs.Tozier’s best spaghetti, they hopped in Richie’s new hand-me-down car and went to the local store. 

“They have a whole big variety of stuffed animals here, all kinds of stuff,” Richie told him as they entered, “My sister and I add some to our collection every few months.” 

“Bev likes penguins,” Ben said, “She told me they’re her favorite when we took the school trip to the aquarium.” 

“And Eddie likes otters,” Richie beamed, “Double date to the aquarium, am I right? Just not SeaWorld. I’m all about saving the whales and all that shit.” 

“Yeah, me too,” Ben said, “But we’re not anywhere near California or Florida anyways.” 

“Who says we can’t take a trip? For Disneyland?” Richie said as they walked towards the stuffed animal aisle. 

“Maybe one day, when we’re all filthy rich,” Ben said, his eyes glowing as they reached the stuffed animals. 

Richie was right. There were quite the assortment of animals, ranging from cats to giraffes to alligators to  _ penguins _ . 

“It’s perfect,” Ben said, pulling the stuffed penguin off the rack. “Bev will love it, won’t she?” 

“Indeed she will,” Richie smiled, reaching for the otter below it. He held it up and stroked his thumb over its head, staring down at it in fondness. 

“Richie? You okay?” Ben asked, after a few moments of Richie’s silence. 

“Oh, yeah,” Richie said, softness in his voice. “It just reminds me of him.” 

Ben smiled, placing his hand on Richie’s shoulder. There was something about seeing such a pure bliss in the eyes of your best friend that made your stomach warm, makes you feel at peace. Richie turned back to Ben, a big stupid smile on his face, and Ben felt at peace. 

“Let’s go,” Ben said, grabbing Richie’s wrist. “We’ve got a sleepover to get to.” 

After checking out, Ben held the penguin close to his chest as Richie danced around the parking lot with the otter, and there was that whole sense of ‘oh my god is this really happening’ and the sense of ‘oh my god this was always meant to happen’ all at once. 

It was beyond surreal that this was happening, their wildest dreams colliding with reality, but it made so much sense. Like things were always meant to be this way. Their reality was where Richie belonged with Eddie and Ben belonged with Bev. 

And they didn’t even think about it during their sleepover, instead thinking of how many Doritos Richie could fit in his mouth and how many scenes of the Spongebob movie they could quote by heart and everything that came from sitting with your legs crossed over the lap of one of your very best friends. One of your very best friends who you’ve loved forever, since you shared gum on the pe field in seventh grade, but you love even more now, like your heart could burst just by looking at their smile. There was something about platonic love, so pure in form and shining as bright as the sun against a sunflower on a summer afternoon, and maybe this was what it was like to be happy. 

Sometime around three a.m. Richie shut the light off, jumping onto the bed besides Ben and curling himself into the blanket. Ben had learned that Richie has a habit of pulling all of the blankets to himself in his sleep, but he couldn’t bring himself to mind because it got a bit warm at night this time of year and the fan was blowing against his cheek and that felt better by far. 

“So,” Richie said, “When are we telling them?” 

“Hmm,” Ben pondered, “How about Friday? At 7 p.m.” 

“That’s awfully specific,” Richie said. 

“7 p.m. just sounds like a good time,” Ben shrugged, “Just at sunset.” 

“You’re right, you’re right,” Richie said, “So we could have the whole pretty sky vibes and shit.” 

“That’s what I’m saying,” Ben nodded, “Pretty sky vibes and shit.” 

“I’m scared,” Richie said quickly, “Are you?” 

“Yes,” Ben answered. 

They were silent for a minute. 

“I know I shouldn’t be scared,” Richie continued, “Eddie’s the safest person I have. It’s just been so long that I thought I could never ever tell him, and it doesn’t feel real that this is actually going down, you know?” 

“I know,” Ben said, “I know it’s not the same, because I didn’t have the added pressure that you have, but I’ve kept this secret for so long too.” 

“Welp,” Richie said, “Cheers to our happiness, I guess. Goodnight, Benny. Love ya.” 

“Love you too,” Ben smiled, and they fell asleep in ten seconds flat. 

Friday night came in a flash. It was 6:45 p.m., and Ben was sitting in Richie’s room again, the penguin in his lap with a bow around its neck. He was starting to sweat and his heart was beating fast enough to make his body tremble, but it was warm too. He was ready. He was absolutely sure. 

Richie had his phone in his hand, scrolling his contacts to get to Eddie’s number, tapping his finger gently against the screen below it before he pressed to call. 

“Alright,” Richie said, “Here we go.” 

Eddie answered on the fourth ring. “Hello?” 

“Hey Eds!” Richie was trying to keep his voice from shaking, “How ya doing on this fine evening?” 

“I’m good,” Eddie said, “Everything alright?” 

“Smooth sailing,” Richie answered, “I was just wondering where you are right now.”

Eddie doesn’t answer right away.

“This is really important Eds,” Richie said. 

“Are you hurt?” Eddie asked, choking on his last word. 

“No, nothing like that,” Richie said, “I just need to see you for a second.” 

“Oh, okay,” Eddie said, but there was something in his voice, and it made Richie worry. “I’m at Bev’s aunt’s. We’re having a sleepover.” 

“Oh, oh, that’s perfect!” Richie answered, “Is it cool if me and Ben are on our way?” 

“Ben too?” Eddie asked, and for some reason they did not understand his voice sounded even more tense. 

“Uh, yeah, Ben too,” Richie said, “That’s cool, right?” 

Bev took the phone. “Yes, guys, that’s cool. Text when you’re outside.” 

The phone hung up. 

“Did he seem off to you?” Richie asked Ben. 

“A little,” Ben said, “But don’t worry. You’ll cheer him up.” 

“I hope so,” Richie said, “Off we go!” 

The drive to Bev’s was quick, and Richie jumped out of the car practically right as he put it in park. He had the nerve right now, the absolute drive to tell him, and he didn’t want to risk losing that. 

Ben texted Bev and they walked up to the porch, standing just behind the stairs. 

Bev came out of the door first, Eddie shyly following behind her. They both had their hands behind their backs, and Bev had a tint of blush over her cheeks. 

“Hey,” Richie greeted, “You two are acting a little sketch. What’s up?” 

Eddie stepped a little closer to Richie, tilting up his head to look him deep in the eye, and then he started to cry. 

“Whoa, whoa, Eddie, what’s wrong?” Richie’s face fell, stepping closer and squeezing Eddie’s shoulders. “What’s wrong?” 

Eddie stepped back a little so he could reach and revealed what he was hiding behind his back. A flower crown, homemade, the petals barely sticking on. He turned his glance to Bev, and she pulled out her own.

“What’s this?” Richie asked, his voice softer than it had ever been. 

“Bev and I made these, for our unattainable crushes,” Eddie let another tear slip from his eye, “For you guys.” 

Richie was silent for a second, studying the crinkles by the corners of Eddie’s eyes. 

“But now, since you’re here, it’s the perfect time to just bite the bullet and do this, right?” Eddie held out Richie’s hand and put the crown in it, closing his fingers around it. “So, there you go, my unattainable crush. The secret’s out. You don’t have to talk to me anymore, and I’m sure what you came here for doesn’t matter anymore. It’s okay, I understand. I just couldn’t hold that secret anymore.” 

Richie looked to Ben and they gave each other a light smile, and Eddie and Bev looked at each other in confusion. 

“Eddie, will you come with me to my car for a little bit?” Richie asked, holding his hand out.

Eddie shuddered, looking at him in caution. “Are you sure? You could leave, if you want.” 

“No, I need you to come see me in my car,” Richie repeated. 

After a second, Eddie took Richie’s hand and Richie began to pull him away, turning around to give Ben a wink before Ben gestured for Bev to sit beside him on the porch. 

Eddie jumped in the front seat, and Richie behind the wheel. Silent tears were still falling down Eddie’s cheeks, so Richie leaned over and cupped his face, wiping away the tears with his thumb. 

“Please don’t cry,” Richie said, just above a whisper, “Nothing hurts me more than seeing you sad.” 

“I’m sorry,” Eddie said, “I’m sorry.” 

“I have something to show you,” Richie said, “The reason I came here.” 

Richie reached into the backseat and pulled out the otter, a bow taped on its head. He extended it to Eddie, smiling in just the slightest. 

“What’s this?” Eddie said, examining the otter, petting its back, “It’s so cute.” 

“It’s for you,” Richie said, “I bought it for you because I thought it might make you happy, and let me tell you Eds, there’s nothing I’d rather do than make you happy.” 

“For me?” Eddie turned back to Richie, “Why?” 

“Because...well…” Richie looked to the window, his leg bouncing in nerves, and then looked back at Eddie’s face. God, he could spend forever looking at Eddie’s face. “Because what I want to tell you is that I don’t know how much I know about love, how much I can know really, but when I look at you I know what love is. I’ve known I love you since before I even knew what that really meant. And not like a best friend, no. I love you like I want to have ballroom dances in our living room, I love you like I want to kiss you over and over again. And I was so scared, so scared of that, because I didn’t know what you might think and I thought it might be wrong, but I now know it’s the most right thing I’ve ever known so I bought you this otter and wanted to tell you. And there’s no way I could ever stop talking to you, because I don’t know who I am without you being a part of me, and it’s completely ridiculous for you to think anything otherwise. Yeah, I only just turned eighteen, and I may sound batshit insane right now, but Eddie I think I’m so in love with you-” 

Eddie put both of his hands on both sides of Richie’s face, and he stopped talking as he gazed into his eyes, his lips slightly parted and so very beautiful, and they just looked at each other like that for a moment before he kissed him. 

Richie’s eyes were open at first, trying to come to terms with the fact that this is really happening and the boy he’s loved for years and years has his lips pressed against his, but then he felt something in his gut, maybe something like the deepest love he’s ever felt, and he closed his eyes and kissed back. 

Neither of them knew how to kiss, really, but just as they fit perfectly in all other ways they fit perfectly like this too. 

They stayed like that for a while, lost in each other’s warmth, and then Eddie pulled back a little, still holding Richie’s face and stroking his cheek and staring at him with the deepest emotion he’s ever felt. 

“So,” Eddie whispered, “Now what?” 

“Well, I didn’t kiss you like that just for you  _ not  _ to become my boyfriend instantly. C’mon Eds, get the memo,” Richie teased. 

“Fuck you,” Eddie giggled, “You’re an asshole.” 

“You love me,” Richie said. 

“I do,” Eddie replied. 

Richie held Eddie’s hand and rested them over his lap, and Eddie leaned over to snuggle his cheek against Richie’s chest, petting the otter with his free hand. They sat like that for a second, the deepest sense of serenity they have ever known, and this time, Richie knew this was what happiness felt like. There was no ‘maybe’ about it.

“Okay, we should probably go check on them now,” Richie said, kissing the top of Eddie’s head. 

“Okay,” Eddie said, tilting his head up to kiss Richie again. 

He really could get used to that. 

Richie held Eddie’s hand up and kissed each of his knuckles, and then they got out of the car, Eddie holding the otter tightly to his chest. 

Bev and Ben were hugging on the stair when they got there, both of their eyes closed in contentment. 

“So, how was the heated make out session?” Richie asked, running up and jumping on the stair below them. 

“God, shut up Richie,” Bev laughed, smacking his shoulder. 

“What? Did you not? Did you not see that penguin and jump on him immediately?” Richie questioned. 

“No, Richie, we  _ barely just now  _ exchanged feelings,” she said, “I don’t kiss on the first date. Did  _ you  _ make out?” 

“Well, maybe I did,” Richie smirked, “Want all the little details?”

“No, she doesn’t,” Eddie said, and they all laughed as Eddie sat beside Richie. 

“I can’t believe you kept this from me,” Bev told Richie, “Even during the conversation we had about me liking someone in the group. You conspiring little bastard.” 

“What? You and Eddie kept your secrets as well,” Richie said. 

“I wouldn’t betray Eddie like that,” Bev said. 

“And I would never betray Bentley,” RIchie said, “Turns out we make a pretty good duo.” 

“Well, I have some cookie dough that me and Eddie were gonna make tonight,” Bev said, “You two care to join us?” 

“Indeed we do, isn’t that right Bentley?” Richie said. 

“Are you going to start calling me that now?” Ben sighed. 

“You get a nickname, he must really like you,” Eddie said. 

“Don’t worry, this doesn’t take away from your nicknames, Eds baby.” 

Eddie's face turned crimson. “Do NOT call me that. That’s the worst.” 

Oh, he definitely liked being called baby. 

Ben and Richie put on their flower crowns, Bev and Eddie helped them up, and they went into the house. 

A month had passed. 

Richie was driving to Eddie’s house, big stupid smile on his face as he pulled up to the driveway. Eddie was waiting outside, looking up from his phone when he heard the sound of Richie’s old engine coming and ran towards the car, swinging the door open almost before Richie stopped. 

“Good afternoon to you, Eds baby,” Richie said, holding the back of Eddie’s head and pulling him in for a kiss. 

Eddie never told him not to call him that again.

“You’re so late,” Eddie pulled back to complain, but Richie pulled him back. 

“I’m always late,” Richie said, “What’s a few more minutes? I wanna kiss you for a little.” 

Eddie kissed him back once and then lightly pushed his forehead. “You can kiss me later. They’re waiting for us.” 

“Alright, alright,” Richie sighed, and Eddie kissed his cheek. He smiled again and began to drive. 

Eddie rested his hand on Richie’s thigh as he drove, closing his eyes and melting into the feeling of his jeans under his touch and the music in his ears. 

“What’s this song?” Eddie asked. 

“Oh, Cigarette Daydreams?” Richie answered, “It’s about you! See!” 

Richie turned it up, singing along. “Cigarette daydreamssss, you were only seventeen. So sweeeeeet with a mean streeaaak, nearly brought me to my kneeeees.” 

“Stop it,” Eddie laughed, “I didn’t ask you to serenade me.” 

“But you love it, don’t you?” Richie asked. 

“Yeah,” Eddie squeezed his thigh, “I do.” 

Richie and Eddie pull up to the diner, spotting Bev’s scarlet curls at table number seven. Richie grabbed Eddie’s wrist and ran up to the table, sliding on the seat across from where Bev and Ben were sitting. 

“Fucking hell, finally!” Bev exclaimed, “We’ve been here for like 25 minutes!” 

“Sorry, you know how Richie’s stupid showers go,” Eddie said. 

“Excuse me! The shower is my karaoke chamber and blow drying all this hair is quite the task, thank you very much,” Richie crossed his arms. 

Ben laughed, and his fingers were intertwined with Bev’s resting over the table. Eddie grabbed Richie’s hand too, holding them over his leg under the table. 

“Good afternoon,” the waitress roller skated over, “What can I get you kids today?” 

“I’ll have a chocolate milkshake miss ma’am,” Richie said. 

“Chocolate? Seriously? That is painfully overrated,” Eddie said. 

“What, you gonna be quirky and order strawberry or something?” Richie replied. 

“Yes, in fact I am,” Eddie said, turning back to the waitress, “I’ll have a strawberry milkshake, please.” 

“Oh, so strawberry is suddenly better than chocolate now? What world are you living in?” Richie said. 

“The world with taste, you tasteless bitch,” Eddie teased. 

“And the two of us will have vanilla,” Bev interrupted, “Thank you.” 

“You both like vanilla? That’s even more boring than strawberry,” Richie said as the waitress walked away. 

“Yes, Richard, we both like vanilla,” Bev stuck her tongue out. 

“You two are perfect for each other then,” Richie said, returning his hand to holding Eddie’s under the table. 

“You two are too,” Ben said. “Just in a different way. And I think that’s beautiful.” 

“Yeah,” Richie nodded, squeezing Eddie’s hand and looking at the soft smile on Ben’s face, and then to the joy in Bev’s eyes. “I guess you could say it is.” 

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter @stonertozier !


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